Wednesday, July 16, 2008

a very happy dilemma

i was suppose to blog about this last night after i got the news but i was too psyched i could barely contain my excitement. i was still staring at the computer screen after three hours.

i couldn't believe my eyes.

okay, fine. that was an understatement. i believe it. i just didn't have a good feeling about the appeal all along so that's why i find it hard to believe.

this is superdupercaligragilistiespiellidoucious (i don't care if i get the spelling wrong ;p) good, no great, no scratch that again, THIS is awesome news!!!

then i had to read 47 pages of this particular guide book online. mind you, 47 pages sounds long, but it is not.

i probably took only 45 minutes to read through the book, but it felt like an eternity.

i didn't even have time to spread the word.

though i know i need contact ht. fast. since she's there already. hmm i've got so many things that i need to ask her. so that i can weigh the pros and cons.

my mind was superclouded with questions. too many questions.

everything happened soooo fast i couldn't decide what to do first.

i only had two days two prepare myself. and there's so much that i need to prepare. too much, in fact.

it's like going to a foreign country in such a short notice.

how do you do that knowing very well for the fact that once you leave, you might never know when you are coming back?

what if you left something behind? heck, this place is further than hong kong. and i get homesick easily. that's one downside.

i know it's only sabah. but for me, leaving my family and friends here is not easy. even if its only for sabah. plus it's toooo fast to leave. i'm just not very prepared yet. okay, not prepared at all.

what could i possible do first? it was three something in the morning.

not much, really. except to weigh the pros and cons if i were to go there.

it seems ridiculous.

considering the fact that i've been wanting this so much ever since the day i appealed.

that would explain my uncontrollable tears the moment i found out. tears of joy.

almost every night i prayed and prayed and wished upon the star (rofl!) that i would get it.

i couldn't believe i did.

and now that i did got it, i am soooo confused. and sooo undecided. and superhappy at the same time. i really didn't know what to do.

then it hit me. if i've really wanted this so much, why did i have to think it through so much? well, it's the distance, and i don't have enough time to prepare myself physically and psychologically yet.

who would have thought that the mohe - ministry of higher education - or whoeverslashwhatever in-charge would only give us two days from the day we got our appeal to prepare and then straightaway fly to sabah to register the next day? sheesh. crazy. such a short notice.

the thing is i have the privilege of having to choose between a few choices, which i am really grateful for. how many people have the privilege to do that?

crossroads + crossroads = dilemma.

so much to do, so little time. it felt quite wrong leaving in a rush like that.

i have so many unfinished business.

okay, first, i have to decide. can somebody please decide for me??? nah. nobody can. just ignore that please.

arghhh! i have to decide!!! i am going crazy, my head could explode anytime.

then, i have to get plane tickets-bookings are already full on thursday, which means i have to leave a day earlier (omg!).

then, i have to pack - not that i have the right clothes required to do that anyway. ha ha! found out that i need three formals (or was it four?), three semi-formals, shoes, shoes, and shoes. no, just kidding about the shoe part. nooooo-i need shoes. oh. don't even try to mention shopping now. is it not obvious enough that time is of the essence here?

then, mum and dad would have to take a three-day-leave in such a short notice.

then, medical checkup. crazy. no time. although that's not necessary to do that now.

then, passport photos. my documents. blablablayadayadayada you know the drill.

and then, so, so, so much more.

sigh. too little time.

but oh well. for drama sake *hehe*

ladies and gentleman, boys and girls,





now what am i going to do???

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

this just in

yep. that's right. after some few months of hiatus, okay fine, two years*coughscoughs*or more, i've finally decided to give it a go again. uh, i have this weird sensation when i say that. giveitagogiveitagogiveitagogiveitaokayyyyy stopppp! weird as this may seemed, blogging is somewhat a major thing to me. owkay that sounds a tad wrong too. geez. i'm so ridiculous sometimes *laughs hysterically*

what i mean to say is, i have a hard time comitting to a blog. i know! what'sthebigdealright??? but i still want to say that. when it comes to blogging, i tend to procrastinate*coughscoughs*like i did in everything but that's not the point okay so let's just move on. i'm sooo lazy to update. and when i want to, i'm either too occupied with things and then i'll end up being too tired or whatever la and then, and the end of the day *tadaa!* no new blog entries from me. so lame. hahaha.

some people are so passionate about their blogs and what they do with it. no, really. i mean that. no sarcasm in the first post. i mean, third. even though i'm gonna ask you to ignore those first two =.=

but but but...
one of my 2008 mid year resolution is...

MUST UPDATE OFTEN!!! or at least i will try.

so you see those two entries before this. well yeeahh =.= please ignore them. i don't even know what goo is or how i came up with it. or life. okay, i know what life is i just didn't know why i wrote that. those are just test posts. is that even a term? even the time is all hay wired. or so i thought. i'm so lost and confused and so outcast-ed from the blogging world that i didn't even know how to set the time. ooohhh thank god i manage to figure it out *pause* hours later. paiseh *eeh blogger got no emoticons*

so anyways, i wouldn't say blogging is something i'd really want to do. it has got to do with this lil' something something. i have to blog. not i have to blog because i want to, i have to blog because it seems like a necessity these days. there's an article about this somewhere. something about having prospects in the future. i will definitely blog about this next time. yes, definitely. i'm seeerriiooussss. see? i even use green.

okay fine. i want to blog also la. i'm blogging for myself. i wanna expand my vocabulary and improve my grammar skills so that i have the ability to write better england. i mean, english. it has deteriorate, seriously. i am not even trying and i am having writer's block now.
note to self :

okay. i am now running out of time so i shall do this fast. but i still have loads to say. huhu.

no wait-maybe i should just end this now. since, you know, i really don't know where this is going and all.

dum dee dumm dumm dee dum *rushing off*

Monday, July 7, 2008



Sunday, July 6, 2008


omg it worked!